we have lost reason, we have lost rhyme,
people everywhere, not knowing what to do
to stop war
and right the wrongs here on our own shore
I wrote that in 2003 and yet here it is, still pertinent 11 years later
Here in Darwin still, after 12 months, I am having an absolute ball
I am playing lots of music,
reading poetry
drawing pictures
coming up with creative projects and putting feelers out through various networks
I'm stressed to the max about money and worrying myself unnecessarily about where I should be,
and know, in my core, I am all right and I'm here, in Darwin.
I am being seen
I am being myself
so there are times when I sing songs of domestic violence
child abuse, mental illness, homelessness, war
there are times when I sing about love and relationships
and beginnings and endings.
One aspect of my wildness
I have been containing is my sexuality.
I get sensual expression through music and drawing
while my sexuality loiters on the floor with my fear
they do more than loiter, they wrestle in their bindings,
one seeking supremacy
the outcome is denial of sexual expression.
I realise that I never listened to my 40 year old self saying "as long as it is respectful sex, indulge".
Back to my audiences:
there are places I go just to have fun
and there I sing my "wilder" songs
and there, sometimes I see, I'm not that wild.
I hesitate in allowing my songs to become realities.
Beyond the doubts there is fun.
And dancing to a good band is a need I have been ignoring as well.
Saturday night I rectified that.
Its neither wise or wild to neglect my body
momentarily I feel a fraud
It passes and I reconnect to the self that knows
I am on the road to discovery.
Shel, living without her demons and embracing abundance and magnificence.
