Do you live your dream?
Or do you hanker for it?
Do you own what you manifest in your life? Both the brilliant and the dross?
How do you know when its time for change in your life?
I've been working in government for eight months. I've worked in government before and I promised myself . . . NEVER AGAIN!
I came to that conclusion because I found government stifling. I was not supposed to speak out about the things I disagreed with or the things I saw. I was not allowed to protest. Taking away the right to fully express ones-self could be seen as a form of bullying.
I wrestle then with arguments about whether I am part of the problem? or a part of the solution? Can I not use who I am and what I know to bring about change? And if I want change, what is the change I want to see. If I maintain my behaviour, will others follow? Its rather thin ice I am treading on when I venture into this terrain because I do see my own bitterness and ugliness and I end up really despising my inability to remain with my heart and soul and integrity. I adopt the culture of the organisation I am working in, quite rapidly. It happened again in this job and being older and less intolerant I found it harder than ever to remain strong and be positive.
And then I think about my goal before getting the job. I wanted a good paying job that would provide the resources for me to get me of debt. And this job has done that. And now it is time for me to go back to my dream.
The dream is to buy a camper van, one big enough to live in while being small enough to get into interesting places in the Australian landscape. I want to sing and dance in this wide brown land of ours. I want to dance in red dust in Central Australia. I want to see the Islands and get to know the people who live in the path of cyclones and show such resilience. I want to celebrate this incredible land and the amazing people who populate it. And do this through the sharing of stories.
I want to do this because I know in my soul it is what I am meant to be doing.
And while I am doing it I will also collect lullabies from other cultures.
And other music. Music is the heart of a place.
So my wild and wise friends, I have decided to get enough of my super released to buy a decent and reliable camper van and travel and do exactly what I believe I am meant to be doing. Thanks Department of Housing, you've helped me attain a goal and given me the impetus to go and live my dream.
There's a crack in everything, its how the light gets through (Leonard Cohen)
